The adventures of an Air Force spouse

Confession of a self-proclaimed queen bee

I have a confession to make. Good Friday is a good time to confess, isn’t it? My confession is I am a queen bee and I like it.

Years ago, at another base, someone accused me of being a queen bee. I don’t think I was, but as I thought about it, I liked the idea.

Well, not in the true meaning of the phrase. I don’t want to be a “mean girl” or tough as nails girl. But I do like to be in charge. I like center stage. I like bragging that my husband is a colonel in the Air Force. I like feeling important too. And I like parking in the colonel’s spot at the base commissary.

This personality quirk comes from being the youngest of five.  I never had control of anything growing up. I used to joke I could do nothing that would shock my parents. They’d seen and heard it all before. So I had twins. No one in the family had done that. It made me special.

In today’s world much is out of our control. We have bosses, we have laws and we have government telling us what to do or not to do. It’s darn frustrating for me.

We also have families – parents, siblings, children, grandchildren, spouses. We consider their wants. We put them before our own. I don’t like it!

As a Christian, I strive to be like Jesus, so I do put others before me. Sometimes I rebel and say I’m doing it my way. But you know what, I give in and do what others want to do. I go with the crowd.

I had a hard time when the Good Chaplain came home from his last deployment. For seven months I lived on my own. I could eat what and when I wanted. I could go to the movies when I wanted to see what I wanted. I had no one to check with before I went somewhere. It was freeing. I know he felt the same way except he still had people telling him what to do and where to go. But in his personal time, he didn’t need to consult with anyone about what he wanted to do either.

I hope and pray I don’t come across as selfish or egotistical. I try hard not to be. But as Lorde sings in her song, “Royals”, “You can call me queen bee. Let me live that fantasy.”

 

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